Clumsy Kisses

Well

When I posted on Thursday it still sort of looked like the press might get hold of this story so I kept it protected. So far they haven’t and at this point I’m beyond caring actually. My dad took his own life on Wednesday afternoon. To begin with it looked a lot like a missin person’s thingy but me and my mother knew really. He was found less than 24 hours later in a local lake.

We had to identify the body on Friday afternoon and he looked very peaceful, and all his worry lines had gone. He had been suffering from a paranoid psychosis and so he wasn’t in his right mind and believe us, if he had have been, the last thing he would have done would be leave my mother and me. He had left a note and as the police liaison person said, it reads like an apology and a love letter not anythng else.

I’ve got his St Christopher around my neck, because one of my earliest memories is trying to grab it.

The funeral will probably be Friday, and a couple of online friends have asked whether we’re taking donations, and we will be. They’ll go to Mind, the UK mental health charity. I’ll let you know about that later, though.

We’re doing okay. I’m doing okay because my dad would want me to. I’m not angry at him but angry at circumstances that have lead to this, really. It’s very sad, but we will of course be okay in time.

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